diff --git a/lib/_http_incoming.js b/lib/_http_incoming.js
index 067a4cda3e39..ecd0d5e95179 100644
--- a/lib/_http_incoming.js
+++ b/lib/_http_incoming.js
@@ -299,6 +299,13 @@ IncomingMessage.prototype._destroy = function _destroy(err, cb) {
       cleanup();
       process.nextTick(onError, this, e || err, cb);
     });
+  } else if (err == null && !this.aborted) {
+    // The message was received completely and is being destroyed cleanly:
+    // complete the destroy synchronously. 'close' is still emitted on a
+    // later tick by the stream machinery. The deferral below only exists
+    // so that 'error' listeners attached right after destroy(err) still
+    // receive the error, which cannot matter when there is no error.
+    cb();
   } else {
     process.nextTick(onError, this, err, cb);
   }
@@ -512,7 +519,14 @@ IncomingMessage.prototype._dump = function _dump() {
     // If there is buffered data, it may trigger 'data' events.
     // Remove 'data' event listeners explicitly.
     this.removeAllListeners('data');
-    this.resume();
+    if (this.complete && !this.destroyed && this.readableLength === 0) {
+      // The message was fully received and never read: there is nothing to
+      // pull off the wire. Go straight to the 'end' emission instead of
+      // paying for the resume() and flow() scheduling machinery.
+      this.read(0);
+    } else {
+      this.resume();
+    }
   }
 };