diff --git a/serve/server.py b/serve/server.py
index 768f6bcc374..dd81ca7b346 100644
--- a/serve/server.py
+++ b/serve/server.py
@@ -1082,6 +1082,7 @@ def __init__(self, exe: str, args: list[str], cwd: str | None = None, log: str |
             if log:
                 self.log.close()
             raise
+        proc = self.proc                                 # this start's process: close() may clear self.proc meanwhile
         # the READY read has a timeout (#1317): the lines come from a thread, up to READY, so the rest of the stream
         # stays for _pump (one reader at a time)
         ready_q: queue.Queue = queue.Queue()
@@ -1110,23 +1111,24 @@ def __init__(self, exe: str, args: list[str], cwd: str | None = None, log: str |
                 break
         loading.set()
         if self.max_context <= 0:
-            if timed_out:                               # still loading, or hung: end it, so the turn is not held for good
+            if timed_out and proc is not None:          # still loading, or hung: end it, so the turn is not held for good
                 try:
-                    self.proc.kill()
+                    proc.kill()
                 except OSError:
                     pass
             try:                                        # its pipes and our handle on its log (the log stays)
-                self.proc.wait(timeout=5)
-                self.proc.stdin.close()
-                self.proc.stdout.close()
+                if proc is not None:
+                    proc.wait(timeout=5)
+                    proc.stdin.close()
+                    proc.stdout.close()
                 if log:
                     self.log.close()
             except (OSError, subprocess.TimeoutExpired):
                 pass
-            if not timed_out and _attempt < START_RETRIES and \
-                    transient_start_failure(log, log_start, time.monotonic() - spawned_at, self.proc.returncode):
+            if not timed_out and proc is not None and _attempt < START_RETRIES and \
+                    transient_start_failure(log, log_start, time.monotonic() - spawned_at, proc.returncode):
                 wait_s = 2.0 * (2 ** _attempt)              # 2, 4, 8 s: the previous process's GPU queues go away
-                exit_words = engine_exit_words(self.proc.returncode)
+                exit_words = engine_exit_words(proc.returncode)
                 if start_log_marks(log, log_start):         # the runtime said so itself (hsa_exception ...)
                     print(f"[strata] the engine stopped while the GPU runtime was starting (most often right after "
                           f"another engine exited, whose GPU queues were still being released"
@@ -1144,7 +1146,7 @@ def __init__(self, exe: str, args: list[str], cwd: str | None = None, log: str |
                    "the engine exited before it was ready")
             # EngineDied, not bare RuntimeError: a request waiting on this load must end with a 503
             # through the request path's handler - a RuntimeError there left the turn with no answer (#1527)
-            note = "" if timed_out else start_exit_note(self.proc.returncode, exe)
+            note = "" if timed_out else start_exit_note(proc.returncode if proc is not None else None, exe)
             tail = start_log_tail(log, log_start)
             lines = [x for x in tail.split("\n")[2:] if x.strip()]
             if tail and lines and all(x.strip().startswith("[strata]") for x in lines):