Feedback for “Agentveil”: editorial pass (brand rules, em dashes, spelling, missing links, heading case)

[will-lamerton]

Editorial pass on content/collective/whitepapers/agentveil.md. Nothing here affects the argument, and I am happy to open a PR for the lot if that is easier than a list.

Brand rules

• Sentinel needs the alpha pairing. In Composition: "Sentinel: While Sentinel provides repo-wide static security audits". The brand page asks that while Sentinel is pre-1.0, the first mention in any piece of copy is paired with "alpha".
• Marketing register. The voice guidance is "operational, understated, and honest", and asks that products are not promised before they exist. Three lines run ahead of that:
  • "Nano Collective aims to deliver the first complete privacy envelope for local agentic workflows" (opening paragraph). An unbacked superlative, and it promises a deliverable for a project that has not been through the Stage 3 build decision.
  • "They compose perfectly" (Composition).
  • "seamlessly integrating with the Nano Collective ecosystem" (Competitive landscape).
• No links anywhere in the document. Nanocoder, prompt-scrub, Sentinel and NanoOS are all referenced without links. The cross-linking convention is a relative absolute path for docs pages (/collective/whitepapers/nano-os) and a full URL for repositories. NanoOS is currently Paused, worth noting where it is cited as a future consumer.

Style

• Em dashes in the frontmatter description and in the Principles intro ("core values—Privacy-respecting, local-first, open-for-all—and adds"). House style elsewhere in the docs avoids them. The Principles sentence would also read better with the three values on their own rather than inside a dash sandwich.
• American spellings, against British usage in the rest of the docs (organisation, behaviour, licence): "Optimize" and "Unauthorized" in Problem and Threat model, "standardizing" and "containerized" in Intended audience, "optimize" in Competitive landscape.
• Heading case. Every top level heading is sentence case; the two subheadings are title case ("Policy Format and Outcomes", "Taint Tracking and Audit Logs"). The bold labels in Open risks and Open questions are title case too ("Policy Authoring UX", "Coverage Gaps", "Signing Key Custody").
• Trailing whitespace at the end of the paragraph ending "or exfiltrate private documents. " in Problem.

Frontmatter

• sidebar_order: 7 collides with scriptura.md, which is also 7 and also in public review. There are other collisions in the folder already (nano-os.md and nanoterm.md both 3, nanobench.md and private-inference-proxy.md both 1), so this is cosmetic, but two live papers competing for one slot is the visible one.

Raised during the public review window (closes 2026-09-19).